Bert is a rather odd character of Michael's creation

You don't want to know more. I don't want to know more.

Noncanon Backstory Edit

Disclaimer: this character has an intelligence of 3 and this backstory is not canon and the real backstory is with Sam’s character.

I was born in a store named George’s mysterious sour craems and milk carton and jews, my parents were both tex mex slaves. One day one of their customers wasn’t happy with their services so the customer decided to complain to everybody till he could find pleasure. But he couldn’t so he complained to my parents after rapping to them and then he shit in his throat and drank the sunny d and bathed in it. I died soon after that after expanding the man’s butt. And after exploring I talked about deep philosophy, it was quite pleasurable. Because of that he left, I later awoke after dyeing to pan face to face with a person. This mangloid was bub b bubba the bub hubba da bobby shmurda bucka bucka and knuck clockles. I soon said “hey wats your dead ass doin here ya whole ” He soon shook my magnum claws known as my quck. Somebody once told me that the world was life and puut it bak into my lass and said we’re going adventuring into ya mums bassassination attempt on jake freaking kocks.

Proficiencies Edit

Skills and Features Edit